Sometimes we do things that we simply do not understand. Sometimes we do things that other people do not understand. Life is full of decisions that somebody will not understand. In many cases, we will do things that we do not understand AND other people do not understand. Wow…that was a lot.
For me, that was changing my major to Pre-Med.
People have come up to me asking, “Hey, so are you still pre-med? What is your major now? I heard you are working full-time at CBN?” Well yes, things have changed. I am now a Communications major (again), I do work full time at CBN in social media, I am a part of a vibrant growing church, Crosswalk VB and I am dating the most beautiful, gracious woman I have ever met, Nicolette Pennisi.
This is how I got here.
But first, let me catch you up…I was a Communications Major, then I was a Pre-Med major (and I didn’t flunk out…surprisingly), and then a Communications Major again.
Initially, I thought I understood it. Yeah, it was a little far out of reach and slightly bizarre, but if God has called me to this, then what do I have to lose? So, I quickly devoted myself to becoming the best Pre-Med student I could. However, I found myself at the end of the year feeling the same stir in my spirit to change my major again. Except this time, closer to my original ideas and dreams.
I began to ask God the question, “Why did you ask me to become a pre-med major if only for ONE year?”
See, I had been so convinced it was the Lord, I was willing to step as far out of my comfort zone as I needed to. I knew, and still know, that changing my major this past year was the plan of God. However, I do not think that continuing this major is the plan of God.
So, that brought me back to the original question, “WHY?”
And at first, nothing.
Slowly…but, surely…I started to learn why.
I Learned to Obey.
How many times do we tell God, “Whatever you call me to do I will do!” but when God decides to check us on that we push back. Instead of following the voice of God, we follow the voice of our own deceitful hearts, or the hearts of others. In all reality, we are saying, “God I will follow you and your calling AS LONG AS it is easy, comfortable, and what I am used to.”
Pre-med was the farthest thing from my skillset. I am a musician and Bible nerd. I wear a leather jacket in 90 degree heat (yeah I know I’m dumb) and I study theology for fun, yet for some reason God called this Nerdy-Bible reading-guitar-rocker to change his major. So, I listened. I obeyed. I learned that no matter what God calls me to or where His voice leads, He will provide. The best thing to do is simply listen and obey.
Because this was so out of my comfort zone and quite honestly my skillset, I had to rely on God with everything.
I Learned to be Humble.
You do not know intimidating until you walk in to a room of Freshmen Pre-Med students as an upper classman RA. They all look at you with a strange look wondering if you truly belong. That was my first day as a Pre-Med major. I was shaking in my boots. These people knew this material! They were good at it! I had not taken a science class in three years or a math class in two. I was toast!
I would have been toast, but I wasn’t.
Sitting across from me was a Freshman, one of my Freshmen, who was beaming from ear to ear with excitement about the beginning of his college career. Over the course of the next year, he would become my saving grace. There were many hours late at night, spent the two of us, as he repeated the material to me until I I grasped the ideas and concepts. He was patient. He was kind. He taught me humility. I became like the least of these, and I would not trade that experience for the world. He is still one of my best friends, and I love him dearly.
I Learned Perseverance.
Homework is not homework until it is Chemistry homework. The frequent late nights, constant IV of coffee, and the countless hours calculating equations can make a man go crazy. In the midst of the craziness I learned to persevere through the difficult tasks, and in that perseverance I experienced greater peace than I ever have before. God used the little things, the annoying things, and the hard things to teach me to persevere through my discomfort.
Discomfort does not mean that God is absent, many times it means He is right there. He promises to stretch us, not give us comfort.
So, great. I learned all this stuff and had an awesome bromance, but if I walked away the same it was worthless. Thankfully I didn’t. Everything in my heart, mind, and soul changed.
My Horizons Expanded.
We tend to think that the world is simply as big as the one around us. When, in all reality, the world is much greater and more expansive than we can even dream. My ideas and visions for my future have so radically expanded that I cannot believe I held such a small minded perspective. When you enter in to something new you will gain a new perspective. However, it is up to you if you will use the new perspective to change your life.
My Heart was Healed.
Sometimes God has to tear down in order to build up correctly. I had experienced so much trauma and pain over the past 8 years that my heart was broken and shattered. I lived life with a distorted mindset that expected pain. That is how I entered Pre-Med studies. I exit Pre-Med whole and alive, living life with a vibrance. God took me as far away from what was “normal” to me in order to rebuild my life in the way He desired. I cannot believe that I lived in such a broken place for so long.
My Soul was Restored.
Restoration is a dirty, dirty thing. It doesn’t happen easily or painlessly. It happens quite slowly and through much discomfort. God is not in the business of fixing; He is in the business of restoring. When you fix something, you put a band-aide on it and say, “All better!” Restoration is a much different thing. Restoration brings forth a newness and worth that was not previously present. My soul is richer and deeper than it had ever been before. I had prayed the prayer, “Father, deepen my soul,” so many times over the years. Well, He finally did, and He did it comicly in only a way God can.
So why am I telling you this?
It may not be Pre-Med, but God has some place He wants to call you to in order to grow you. Let Him lead you. Let Him guide you. The adventure ahead of you is far more exciting than what is behind you. All you must do, is let go.