Why This Preacher’s Kid Left the Church.

I know what you are expecting.  You are expecting to read another blog post from an angry millennial condemning the church.  That is not what you will find.  I believe with all of my heart that the local church is the hope of the world.  The problem is we are not the church Jesus intended us to be.  When Jesus looked at Peter and said, “On this rock I will build my church,” I wholeheartedly believe that the church of today is not what He intended.  Instead of loving and engaging people, we condemn and judge with prejudice.  Jesus came to seek and save what is lost, not judge it and push it even farther away.  It pushed me away.

 

I am done with church.

I am done with religion.

 

All I want is Jesus.

 

How did I get to this point?


If you will I want to share my story with you.  My entire life I have been fully committed to the church.  I have 20 years of living life as a preacher’s kid.  My family has served selflessly for years, yet the very thing we served chewed us up and spit us out, leaving us for dead.  So after over 20 years, we are disowned and rejected.  No longer are we held in high esteem, instead we are rejected to the shadows to wallow in our mistakes.

 

Where did the church go wrong?

 

  1. When the “Church” became more of a political organization than a group of people trying to serve the body. When a church becomes more concerned about numbers and quotas than reaching the lost, the devil has won.  All the devil has to do is grasp the hearts of those in the church, turning it away from the heart of God, and the rest simply falls into place.  Once this happens, the church will rip itself apart viciously.  No survivors are left.  It is a blood bath of self righteous debauchery and condemnation.

 

  1. When the “Church” is more focused on perfect facades than true redemption and healing. People are scared.  We are scared that if someone sees who we actually are that we will be discarded and thrust into the shadows.  This is due to a culture of condemnation and fear that we have bred into the very DNA of the 21st century church.  However, this is the direct opposite of the DNA Jesus imprinted upon His church.  Galatians 6:1 is clear, “Brothers, if anyone is caught in any transgression, you who are spiritual should restore him in a spirit of gentleness.”  Though this verse is clear, more often than not the church responds with brash roughness that further wounds and injures the person that needs to be restored.  All the church will produce is brokenness and an ever continuing cycle of hatred and condemnation.

 

 

  1. When the “Church” forgets the weight of grace. We have all experienced grace, yet many times we simply do not recognize it.  Today you came face to face with grace.  The sun is still shining, your lungs are still working, and earth is still in orbit.  These are all major examples of the magnitude of the patience and grace of God.  When we forget the weight of grace it is harder to extend grace.  Grasping onto power becomes more important than releasing grace to some.  For in order to extend grace, you must first lower yourself and release all power you have over that person.  You yourself become vulnerable because you are relating to a person in their brokenness.  When Jesus addressed the woman caught in adultery, He did not point His finger at her and scold her.  Instead, some believe He bent down and wrote the sins of her acccusers on the ground.  As He did, the sound of stones hitting the sand rang through the open air.  Her accusers were leaving.

 

Jesus did not go, pick up the stones and start driving them into the woman’s head.  Instead, He looked at her with grace and said, “No one accuses you? Neither do I. Go and sin no more.”  The idea that Jesus would even do anything remotely different seems appalling.  Why would Jesus pick up the stones and drive them into the woman’s skull? I don’t know.  All I know is that is exactly what we do the majority of the time.

 

 

So now what?

 

Am I falling off of the deep end?

No. I don’t think so.

 

 

Am I running from church?  No.  I just refuse to be a part of the cesspool that I have lived in for years. I am actually a part of a church that exemplifies the family of believers I have been searching for. It is a church that is a thriving habitat of the culture we tried to cultivate as a family in ministry. Where I am today, doesn’t look like anything like the church of the 21st century.  I refuse to be a part of another religious institution.

 

Am I disowning God?

No. I am closer to the Father than I have ever been.  My adventure awaits and it is in His hands.

 

So then what was the purpose of all this?

Well, it is rather simple.

 

I am done with the politics.

I am done with the backstabbing.

I am done with the facades.

I am done with the pseudo-vulnerability.

I am done with fear.

I am done with condemnation.

I am done.

All I want is Jesus.

And that is why, this preacher’s kid, has left the church.

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24 thoughts on “Why This Preacher’s Kid Left the Church.

  1. I love this! I appreciate how you identified the problems found in church, but you didn’t grow bitter toward church in general or Christianity. Not many people do that. I’m glad you recognized the issues and looked elsewhere that followed what Jesus wanted the local church to look like. Very well said and in a dignified manner. Great job!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. You sound as angry and judgemental as the church you’re condemning. I can tell your pain is real but there’s a few billion other believers that you haven’t met and millions of local churches that you haven’t fellowshiped with yet. Maybe the answer isn’t leaving the church but showing the rest of us how to do it right.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Doug,

      First, thank you so much for taking the time to read the article! It means the world to me. Second, I can tell you that I am a judgmental and sinful human. We all are. We all have fallen short thanks to sin. However, I can promise you that this article was not posted until nearly 6 months after my encounter with the church in an effort to make sure I have the right heart. I would argue that you did not read the article for what it is. More than once I stated I was not angry and that I strongly believed the local church is the hope of the world. I discussed the dark side of how many of us do church today. The purpose of this article is to show how to move the church forward. Which I write about throughout the article. Finally, I have had the amazing opportunity to travel and encounter hundreds of churches throughout my life. I can say, with a heavy heart, that many churches have fallen into the trap I discussed. I did not just write this from one encounter, but rather a life time of encounters as I served the church. I am not an outside, rather someone from the inside. Thank you again for reading!

      Grant

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  3. Very well written article. I don’t know you personally but know your mother and your brother from the homeschool co-op we both attend. I share your journey as a former ‘pastor’s kid” who left the church and religion also after much hurt in the church, many moons ago. I am grateful to read that you are still pressing into the things of the Father and if you ever feel like you would like to return to a local body, pls. feel free to visit Grace Fellowship Church in Hampton..My husband is pastor there (long long story there) and I want to extend a personal invitation to you. We are just a bunch of Jesus Loving Believers who are small in numbers but Mighty with the help of the Holy Spirit…May God continue to bless you and your family!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Gwenn,

      First, thank you so much for reading. Second, thank you for your grace and invitation. It is people like you who understand the true meaning of the Gospel of Jesus. Thank you again for your prayers

      -Grant

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  4. I feel for you, brother. I’m not a preacher’s daughter(I’m Catholic) and the judgement and politics that characterized the small conservative Catholic homeschool community I grew up in made me doubt the Church and has left some emotional bruises which are still healing. Luckily, the Church is bigger than any of us, and the Catholic Church is the only place I’ve found Jesus, and there truly are good, loving people in the Church. Unfortunately, it wasn’t that attitude of love and mercy and forgiveness that I grew up hearing. I hope you find Jesus, and please know I am praying for you!!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Kat,

      Thank you so much reading and taking the time to comment. I am sorry for your emotional bruising and I stand with you knowing Jesus can and will heal you of all of it. He is a God of flourishing wholeness. Thank you so much for your prayers.

      -Grant

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  5. Grant,
    Very well said. You and your family are amazing. Your fathers teachings are responsible for helping me see the light and love of our father and son. I went to an easter service 3 years ago as a nonbeliever for my wife. Your fathers teaching brought the holy Spirit to me. It breaks my heart you guys are somewhere else now. The temple isn’t the same without you guys. My wife and I have started looking for another. Would love to find you guys again. We truly miss you and your family. I know God has an amazing plan for all of you.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Steve,

      Thank you so much for reading. Your story is what inspires me and makes all of the pain worth it! I would love to connect with you sometime. I pray blessings over you and your family.

      -Grant

      Like

    2. And I am ever so Thankful God used Pastor Glenn to remove the scales from your eyes and open your heart for the Lord! It has been quite amazing seeing you, my dad, go from a non believer to someone who loves God and who I can now talk to about Him.

      Liked by 1 person

  6. Grant,
    Proud to know you. Its good to ask the questions and make the comments people are afraid to. I understand how you have come to this conclusion. I exsperienced this myself years ago when I was in Des Moines Iowa giving all I had to the church and it just wasn’t enough for those I worked for. I was for fired and ask to say I had resigned. Politics right. I truly believe God was leading me because he spoke to me two days prior to being fired. So I hold no I’ll will just memories. What it did to my family though lasted a long time. I say this to again let you know that i understand. Even now I see it. I find the greatest blessing of strength comes when I learn to love, forgive, and continue to work those who have hurt me. It is really what God does by His grace always working with imperfect people in a imperfect world. Amazing how He works it all for good. Love you buddy!

    Liked by 1 person

  7. As I’ve gotten older and have attended a few more churches, I’ve seen how some churches cast those aside for whatever their reasons are. When I learn people have and are being “shunned” by the church, it makes me question what they are truly there for. When it becomes their way instead of God’s way, there’s a problem.

    I went to the church your Dad preached at last year and loved his sermons. I could feel the Holy Spirit.

    I’m praying for you and the whole family, as I have been. Like Jeremiah 29:11 says, He knows the plans He has for you.

    Liked by 1 person

  8. Hi Grant,
    I love your article. It makes a lot of sense. My husband and I used to go to Bethel all the time, but stopped for a while and only recently found out you and your family are no longer there. Your Dad really spoke to us when he preached and we would love to continue to hear him teach. Where are you guys now? We miss y’all!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hi Shannon,

      Thank you so much for reading the article and commenting. I pray you are well. It warms my heart knowing that we made a difference while at Bethel; it makes all of it worth it! We are attending a church in VB currently! Pray you are doing well

      -Grant

      Liked by 1 person

  9. Good mornin my friend.
    I appreciate your frustration. I haven’t had much success with organized religion myself. I especially relate to your desire to want church to work, but it just doesn’t seem to function as it should. And I know that there are good churches. Like you…I’d love to belong where I didn’t have to deal with the mixture of law and grace.

    From my perspective, I would love to find one that genuinely, and wholly embraces the finished work of Christ.
    If the group really understands that our sanctification & righteousness is complete because we’re in Christ by grace through faith…then (I believe) that would eliminate the legalism, phoniness, and judgementalism. Who could judge another’s shortcomings when we are wholly resting in Christ’s perfection? I believe that not understanding & resting in this truth, is where the problem lies.

    You just remember that God loves you unconditionally my brother. And you’re not alone in what you’re dealing with.

    Liked by 1 person

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